By Carol Lange
Nurse Next Door
If you haven’t, and your parents are over 75, now is probably a really good time. What I’m talking about is their plans for implementing and paying for the cost of home care, should one or both need extra support at home. The need for care can happen very quickly, due to a fall, illness, or a sudden flare up of a chronic condition. It’s a fact that 1 in 3 seniors will experience a fall this year.
Our provincial health care system provides an excellent level of emergency help through your local hospital. However, we see gaps when a loved one leaves the hospital. What was it that caused the emergency in the first place? Has anything changed at home to prevent it from happening again? Who is going to help with the day to day activities like grocery shopping, cleaning, cooking and laundry? Often, this falls on the family (aka – you, the busiest person on the planet). If no one is there to help, they often end up back in the hospital over and over again.
The vast majority (90%) of seniors want to stay in their home as long as possible. It’s also a fact that people recover better at home. And people who are monitored by a health professional in their first week home from leaving the hospital, have a significantly reduced chance of getting sick again and returning. If that’s the case, planning ahead for home care is the only way to make that happen. I know this from personal experience. Before I ever knew about Nurse Next Door, my mom was diagnosed with Dementia. At the time, I had no idea what that meant, and over the next 2 years, I witnessed a decline in her capabilities that landed her in the local hospital every few months. She was fiercely independent, and refused help. It finally reached the point where the doctors would no longer allow her to return home without 24/7 supervision.
My mom had expressed over and over to my brother and me that she did NOT want to move from her home of 40+ years, and she did not want to go to a nursing home. I set about making that happen without knowing how much it would cost, or how to pay for it. I called a company like Nurse Next Door, sought legal help, and called a Financial Planner with experience working with seniors. Together, we set up 24/7 care and brought mom home. Although she was on a small disability pension and cash poor, she owned her house that was paid for many years ago. Without selling, we were able to access the equity in her home which we used to pay for the care she so desperately needed.
Because we did not have “the talk” before she was deemed incapable of decision making, she paid a steep legal bill in order for me to assist with her financial decision making. It is much better (and much cheaper) to do this while loved ones are still 100% capable. You may also want to remind them to review their life insurance, update wills, and create a Power Of Attorney for the future.
I urge you to start talking with your parents about their wishes, so that if and when they need your help, you’ve got a plan. Bring in pros to talk about their specific situation and make sure they have information about home care costs, what is actually provided by the government, how long it takes to access government care, setting up a mortgage or line of credit, etc… Planning for it now is what will allow them to stay in their own home as long as possible. If you think these decisions are tough to make now, waiting will only make them harder.
I’m here to say it absolutely IS possible for people to stay in the home they love and raised a family in, with the support and care that they need, and still provide a healthy inheritance for the remaining family members (I know from experience!). In order for that to happen, you must have a good plan in place so start today!
