By Linda Clement
Have you ever walked into a networking event only to have rapid-fire business cards nearly thrown at you by everyone who comes near you?
Have you ever reeled after hearing 15 or 50 elevator pitches in an hour, with no idea if a single person asked what your name is by the time it’s over?
Have you attended networking events that felt more like being circled by sharks who seem to want to know you only to get access to your network?
Did you know that networking doesn’t have to be like this?
When I first started my business, in a different city from where I live now, lots of people told me I’d have to network to succeed, and all of them had an event or a group I needed to attend for sure, definitely don’t miss this one…
I walked away from all of them (local chamber events, professional networking breakfasts, speed networking, in person meetings) feeling a bit like I wanted to shower, and more like I was prey surrounded by predators than among peers I might do business with. None of them made me think I was losing anything by dropping all their cards in the bin on the way out, and most of them made me hope they’d do that same with mine.
My dim view of networking was built on too many experiences like these. Maybe yours has been, too.
Speed forward 20 years, and in my new city I recognized that unlike where I lived for 50 years, I knew no one. I didn’t know where to take my car that I wouldn’t get asked if my husband was ‘letting’ me take my car in, or a plumber who wouldn’t leave a bigger mess than they walked into… or any of the other ‘just life’ people I needed. ‘Oh, gawd, I’m going to have to do some networking…’
The first organization I ran across was this one: Valley Women’s Association, Tricity Chapter. When I first walked in, I was greeted by friendly faces who all asked me what I was here to ask for. What a breath of fresh air!
It wasn’t the only networking group I joined, after trying out a few –some better than others at making it clear I was welcome because I was alive, not because I might buy something or sent my friends their way, but this time, everywhere I went I found people who were genuinely helpful, welcoming, eager to get to know me –not just as a client or referral partner, but because I am me.
What I have learned, in the 8 years since joining VWA is that there is a friendly, effective, and even fun way to build your business and personal network, that doesn’t involve any sleaze, self-serving pitching, or sharks looking for fresh blood for their own profits.
It helps, a lot, to go ‘to meet and get to know people’ and wonder what they’re looking for today… and to know that if that’s not what people there ask you, it might be time to step out and look for another opportunity.
